Recently, someone told me I was resilient.

For days before that, I was praying for God to put a word on my heart. I wanted to practice a word for the year.

I was thinking of words and considering many that I thought would be good, that could help me grow spiritually. But, once I heard the word resilient, it settled deep into my heart and I knew it was my word for 2020.

Recently someone told me I was resilient. I shook my head in disagreement.

I struggle to accept a compliment. I struggle to believe the good others see in me. Long ago, years before I was an adult, I adopted this coping mechanism. If I could tell myself and believe all the worst things, then it wouldn’t hurt as much when someone would say them to me.

I think focusing on resiliency this year is going to do a lot in my life.

I have been resilient.

I’ve been able to get through some difficult situations. This year, I think God is challenging me to think of resiliency in a different light. God is calling me to be more gentle with myself. I think God is calling me to be a person that loves herself and sees herself for what she is, His beloved daughter.

If I can be resilient to the one who attacks my heart and doesn’t want me to believe I’m God’s beloved daughter…

If my heart can be softer and more malleable…

If I give it all to God….

Then the crosses I will bear today, tomorrow, and later in my life will be as God’s Beloved daughter and through Him I will be able to pick up those crosses and follow Him.

I think focusing on resiliency is going to do a lot in the life of my family. Things I can’t even imagine.

My children, overhearing me talk to my husband about the word of the year idea asked me about resilient. After an explanation, one of my boys, my 10 year old who is currently transitioning to a power chair because disease progression is taking from him his ability to walk; Rowen said he wanted to be resilient, too.

He is already one of the most resilient people I know, this year going through more change and loss that anyone his age should have to and is making it out stronger and more independent. But to see Him and all of my children and my husband grow in this area will truly be the work of God in our lives.

I’m excited to see where this year leads us. I will continue to use this blog for many topic areas, but promise to update you here about the things we learn and experience on this journey with this word God has put on my heart.